Today is February 2. It's groundhog day. I have commented to many people in the past that my life is kind of like that movie. Everyday I get up, and it's like the same day over again.. the alarm clock... making the same mistakes over and over... My life is kind of like a looped tape. It's really sad. Most people laugh when I tell them this.. it's kind of funny. It's not all that horrible, it's kind of a reality.. everyone's life is like groundhog day, whether they realize it or not.
Every morning is the same.. wake up late, jump in shower, brush teeth, search for clothes to wear... drive to work... check e mail. Sometimes it's a little different. Every once in awhile there will be that interesting event.. something new in the morning.. something memorable.
I live for the weekend. I live for the evenings. I write notes to myself .. things to do and accomplish. I rarely get any of those things done. Somehow I usually end up spending the evenings after work the same way... the hours just slip away.. I'm enjoying myself.... watching TV, chatting on AOL, but somehow... shouldn't I be doing something else? Improving myself.. like the little notes tell me to do? The little notes say things like read some book I bought a few months ago... continue with my german and spanish CD roms. I worry about money quite a bit lately. The new job I suppose. Pay cycles.. monthly bills..
One change I've managed to be good about. I actually am exercising more. I'm putting this into my schedule.. It's becoming part of the looping tape. I have recorded this onto my tape loop. I guess the next step is to incorporate other things into my tape loop.
Perhaps it's part of becoming 27... you've been out of college for awhile, you realize you're not so special.. you're a working stiff like everyone else. Part of it is a result of quitting grad school... leaving academia.... losing faith in your ideals... realizing that your dreams maybe were just dreams. And you need to be like everyone else and make money. Buy a couch. Choose life. Choose matching luggage... leisure wear.
I admit I'm much happier than when I was a grad student. That was a really bad loop. This loop is much more bearable. It's just the repetition.. I suppose it's up to me to throw something in there to mix it up. Maybe this would be easier if I had a sig. other.
Every morning is the same.. wake up late, jump in shower, brush teeth, search for clothes to wear... drive to work... check e mail. Sometimes it's a little different. Every once in awhile there will be that interesting event.. something new in the morning.. something memorable.
I live for the weekend. I live for the evenings. I write notes to myself .. things to do and accomplish. I rarely get any of those things done. Somehow I usually end up spending the evenings after work the same way... the hours just slip away.. I'm enjoying myself.... watching TV, chatting on AOL, but somehow... shouldn't I be doing something else? Improving myself.. like the little notes tell me to do? The little notes say things like read some book I bought a few months ago... continue with my german and spanish CD roms. I worry about money quite a bit lately. The new job I suppose. Pay cycles.. monthly bills..
One change I've managed to be good about. I actually am exercising more. I'm putting this into my schedule.. It's becoming part of the looping tape. I have recorded this onto my tape loop. I guess the next step is to incorporate other things into my tape loop.
Perhaps it's part of becoming 27... you've been out of college for awhile, you realize you're not so special.. you're a working stiff like everyone else. Part of it is a result of quitting grad school... leaving academia.... losing faith in your ideals... realizing that your dreams maybe were just dreams. And you need to be like everyone else and make money. Buy a couch. Choose life. Choose matching luggage... leisure wear.
I admit I'm much happier than when I was a grad student. That was a really bad loop. This loop is much more bearable. It's just the repetition.. I suppose it's up to me to throw something in there to mix it up. Maybe this would be easier if I had a sig. other.
posted by Cindy at
9:36 AM
